Wedding invitation wording: who to name, in what order, and the mistakes to avoid
Most of the arguments about a wedding invitation are not about design. They are about whose name goes where, in what order, and with which honorific.
This page sets out the conventions that actually exist, the one etiquette rule almost everybody gets wrong, and how to handle the situations that are genuinely difficult, like a parent who has died or parents who are divorced.
The host line decides everything else
Whoever is hosting is named first, and the rest of the wording follows from that. Pick the row that matches your situation.
| Who is hosting | How it opens |
|---|---|
| The bride's parents | Mr and Mrs [Surname] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter… |
| Both sets of parents | Together with their families, [Parents] and [Parents] invite you… |
| The couple themselves | Together with our families, we invite you to celebrate our marriage… |
| Grandparents included | With the blessings of [Grandparents], [Parents] invite you… |
| One parent has passed | [Living parent], along with the family of the late [Name], invites you… |
| Parents are divorced | Name each parent on their own line, without and between them, in whichever order you both agree. |
Honour of your presence, or pleasure of your company
This is the rule almost nobody knows, and once you know it you cannot unsee it on other people's cards.
Honour of your presence is used for a ceremony in a place of worship. A church, a temple, a gurdwara, a mosque.
Pleasure of your company is used for everything else. A banquet hall, a hotel, a farmhouse, a reception.
So a wedding at a temple with a reception at a hotel correctly uses honour for the first and pleasure for the second. Nobody will complain if you get it wrong, but getting it right costs nothing.
When a parent has passed
This comes up constantly and families agonise over it, so here are the options that are actually used, none of which is wrong.
- Name them with late. Daughter of Mrs [Name] and the late Mr [Name]. Plain, common, and reads as respectful.
- A separate blessing line. With the blessings of the late Shri [Name], placed above the host line.
- Name the family rather than the person. [Living parent] and family invite you. Avoids the word entirely, which some families prefer.
- Use a memorial line at the end. We remember [Name], who is with us today.
Things to leave off
- Your home address, if the function is elsewhere. A wedding invitation gets forwarded far beyond the people you sent it to.
- Gift instructions, unless you are asking for none. No gifts please is gracious. Anything that reads as a demand is not.
- Registry details on the main invitation. Put them on a website or tell people who ask.
- Anything you are not certain of. A time that might move, a venue that is not confirmed. Say to be confirmed rather than printing a guess, because a digital invitation can be updated but a printed one cannot.
Invocations by faith
| Tradition | Usual opening |
|---|---|
| Hindu, general | Shree Ganeshaya Namah |
| Vaishnav, Pushtimarg | Shree Krishnah Sharanam Mama |
| Jain | Namo Arihantanam, or the full Navkar Mantra |
| Sikh | Ik Onkar, or Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh |
| Muslim | Bismillah ir Rahman ir Raheem, often with Surah Ar Rum 30:21 |
| Christian | A scripture verse, most often 1 Corinthians 13 |
| Bengali Hindu | Shree Shree Durgayai Namah, or Om Shree Ganeshaya Namah |
Full samples you can copy
Change the names and the details. Each of these has been written to read well aloud, which is still how most invitations are received in an Indian family.
Shree Ganeshaya Namah
Mr and Mrs [Surname]
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
[Name]
with
[Name]
son of Mr and Mrs [Surname]
on [Day], the [date] of [month], [year]
at [Time]
[Venue]
Reception to follow.
Shree Ganeshaya Namah
Together with their families,
[Name]
and
[Name]
request the pleasure of your company
as they are married
[Day, Date] · [Time]
[Venue]
We are getting married, and we would love you there.
[Name] and [Name]
[Day, Date]
[Venue]
Ceremony at [Time], dinner from [Time].
Everything else is on this link.
Shree Ganeshaya Namah
With the blessings of the late Shri [Name],
Smt [Name] and family
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
[Name] with [Name]
[Day, Date] · Muhurat [Time]
[Venue]
Shree Ganeshaya Namah
Aapke sneh evam aashirwad ke saath, hamare parivar ke shubh vivah prasang par aap sapariwar padharein.
Chi. [Naam]
suputra Shri [Naam] evam Smt [Naam]
ka shubh vivah
Aayushmati [Naam]
suputri Shri [Naam] evam Smt [Naam]
Vivah: [Din, Tithi] · Muhurat [Samay]
Sthaan: [Sthaan]
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Questions people actually ask
Whose name goes first on a wedding invitation?
There is no universal rule. Both orders are used and it varies by community. What matters is that both families agree before printing, since in some households the order is read as a statement.
When do I write honour of your presence instead of pleasure of your company?
Honour of your presence is for a ceremony in a place of worship. Pleasure of your company is for everywhere else, including receptions at hotels and banquet halls.
How do I mention a parent who has passed away?
Common options are naming them with late or Swargiya, adding a blessing line above the host line, or including a short memorial line at the end. In most Indian families they are still named, since leaving them off reads as an erasure.
Should the wedding invitation mention gifts?
Only if you are asking for none. No gifts please is gracious. Anything that reads as a request for money or a registry belongs on a website, not on the card.
Should I put my home address on the invitation?
Not if the function is elsewhere. Invitations get forwarded well beyond the people you sent them to, so name the venue rather than your house.