Tamil wedding invitations: muhurtham timing, the rituals, and what to write
Tamil weddings are built around the muhurtham, and the muhurtham is very often at dawn. Ceremonies beginning between five and seven in the morning are entirely normal, which surprises guests from other parts of India every single time.
The invitation is called a Thirumana Alaikathiri or simply a patrikai. This page covers the rituals in the order they happen, the two that guests enjoy most, and wording you can use.
Kashi Yatra and Oonjal
Kashi Yatra is the best piece of theatre at any Tamil wedding. The groom announces that he is renouncing worldly life and setting off for Kashi to study. He takes an umbrella, a walking stick and a fan, and starts to leave. The bride's father intercepts him at the gate and persuades him that the householder's life is the greater path, offering his daughter's hand. The groom is convinced and returns. Everyone watching enjoys it enormously.
Oonjal is the swing ceremony. The couple sits on a decorated swing while women from both families sing, circle them with coloured rice balls to ward off the evil eye, and gently rock the swing. The rhythm of the swing is understood as the ups and downs of life, and the families steadying it as their role in it.
The rituals in order
| Ritual | What happens |
|---|---|
| Nichayathartham | The engagement, where the wedding date is formally fixed and the patrikai is read. |
| Sumangali Prarthanai | Married women of the family are honoured and blessings are sought from ancestors. |
| Naandi | Elders are invited and honoured on the eve of the wedding. |
| Kashi Yatra | The groom's mock departure and his return. |
| Maalai Maatral | Garland exchange, usually with the couple lifted by their cousins. |
| Oonjal | The swing ceremony. |
| Kanyadaanam | The bride's father gives her hand, seated on his lap in many families. |
| Mangalyadharanam | The thali is tied at the exact muhurtham, with three knots. This is the moment of marriage. |
| Saptapadi and Ammi Midithal | Seven steps, and the bride steps on a grinding stone as a symbol of steadfastness. |
| Arundhati Darshanam | The couple is shown the star Arundhati, a symbol of devotion. |
What to put on the invitation
- The muhurtham time, in large type. Everything else is secondary.
- The reception, if it is a separate evening. In many families it is the night before the wedding, not after, which confuses guests from the north.
- Whether breakfast is served. For a dawn muhurtham it usually is, and guests will not have eaten.
- The Tamil month and star, if your family includes them. Many patrikais give the date in both the Tamil and Gregorian calendars.
Tamil wedding invitation wording you can copy
Copy any of these and change the names, dates and places. They are written to be read out loud, so they sound right on a phone screen too.
Shree Ganeshaya Namah
With the blessings of the Almighty and our elders,
[Parents' names]
invite you with your family
to the wedding of their daughter
[Name]
with
[Name]
son of [Parents' names]
Muhurtham: [Time] on [Day, Date]
[Venue]
Reception: [Day, Date] · [Time]
[Name] weds [Name]
Muhurtham: [Time] a.m., [Day, Date]
[Venue]
Yes, it really is that early. Breakfast will be served after the ceremony.
Reception the previous evening, [Date], from [Time].
We are getting married.
[Name] and [Name]
Muhurtham [Time] · [Day, Date]
[Venue]
All functions, timings and directions on this link.
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Questions people actually ask
Why is the Tamil muhurtham so early in the morning?
The auspicious window calculated for the wedding usually falls at dawn, so ceremonies commonly begin between five and seven in the morning. Breakfast is served afterwards.
What is Kashi Yatra?
A ceremony where the groom pretends to renounce worldly life and set off for Kashi, and the bride's father persuades him to marry instead. It is performed with humour and it is one of the most enjoyable parts of the day.
What is the Oonjal ceremony?
The couple sits on a decorated swing while the women of both families sing and circle them with coloured rice to ward off the evil eye. The swinging represents life's ups and downs and the families steadying it.
When is the thali tied?
At the exact muhurtham, with three knots. That is the moment the marriage takes place, so guests should be seated well before it.
Is the reception before or after a Tamil wedding?
Often the evening before, which surprises guests used to North Indian weddings. State it clearly on the invitation with its own date and time.